The Final Class Chapter, otherwise known as The Day Mom Looked Stupid in Front of the Class

I spent over twenty years of my life being a graceful ballerina and another handful of those years pretending to be an aggressive soccer player. I can spin a lovely pirouette on my tippy toes and kick the hell out of a soccer ball. None of the sporting activities in all my thirty years prepared me for the extreme sport of Handling. Your dog does Agility -- you just happen to do the Handling at the same time. Handling is not for the faint of heart or feelings. The simple truth is that you are going to look like an idiot. Your dog looks cute when he does the wrong thing (i.e., running around the jumps, turning around halfway in the tunnel, and jumping off the walkway too soon) which even prompts some laughter from other doggy parents. You, on the other hand, are supposed to coordinate all of your gangly limbs, the dog leash, and verbal and hand signals without tripping, accidentally guiding your dog smackdab into an obstacle or smashing headfirst into a bystanding instructor. Luckily, I was not the only human taking this class on Halloween Night. The first set of classes is largely focused on the dogs but I have been assured that future classes will give me a crash course on how to look as talented as my dog. And how talented are our dogs? Every single dog there has come through amazing leaps and bounds (no pun intended) in behavior and confidence levels. Our dogs are having the time of their lives! Despite all of our human humiliation, all the doggy parents are signing up for the next round. So more cheese sticks lie in Jake's near future and hopefully his mom can rediscover her grace and balance in enough time to audition as Jake's Agility Sidekick. P.S. Agility does nothing really for wearing out Jake on the long-term scale. Not long after getting home, Jake was hit by a sudden attack of the zoomies, which ended with him stealing Halloween socks out of the new "doggy-proof" clothes hamper. He actually freezes when I yell, "Stop, thief!" since we go through the sock routine several times a day. Now I didn't saw he looked sorry, he just freezes and waits to see what I will do next. Maybe a padlock on the hamper...

FrankenCow

Jake sleeps with a fluffy cow that used to moo. Jake doesn't chew on this Cow which he has had since day one. This Cow is Jake's sleeping buddy. We take Cow everywhere. Cow is Jake's woobie. A couple of months ago his Border Collie uncle Ian killed the moo function and I thought it would be a good time to buy a backup Cow just in case something more dire were to happen to Cow. Jake immediately adopted the new cow and would herd both cows into his kennel at night. Then my husband got a hold of the new cow:



In the spirit of Halloween, I decided just to sew new cow's head back on and we've dubbed him FrankenCow. It's rather hard to sew a head back on when there's no neck but FrankenCow is good as new and back in the crate at night! (My husband now has new instructions to never touch Jake's Cows.)

Another Mountain Weekend Spent Admiring the Cows

We headed for the mountains and their beautiful leaves. It's a wonder we made the trip in any decent amount of time due to all the sightseers driving along the two-road highway at truly pokey speeds. We arrived at my grandparents where my husband, stepbrother and stepdad spent several hours packing for their weekend camping trip on the cold and windy mountain. Their campsite didn't allow dogs, making my husband sad and making me truly thankful for the excuse. Jake eyed the packing sadly and couldn't understand why he couldn't steal the ice cubes out of the big cooler. Little did Jake know that a full weekend of staring at his cows was just ahead. After the fellas left for their campsite, my mother and I took Jake for a walk in the colorful cove alongside the pastures. At the sight of his first cow, Jake began bouncing and prancing along the path. Who needs camping and hiking when there are COWS! Despite being chilly in the shade, the day was still fairly warm in the sun and most of the cows had retreated to the trees for a little rest. A group of calves were playing a game of chase and stopped only occasionally to glance at Jake. During the summer, Jake always gets a swim in the river. He had a hard time understanding why this walk didn't culminate in an icy swim and practically dragged my mother in the water after him in a vain attempt to get wet.



That very evening the cows had moved closer to the end of the pasture next to my grandparents' house so I took Jake back out to see them. A very pregnant cow wobbled over to Jake at the barbed wire fence. I'm pretty sure she's normally the same cow who pushes her way through the baby cows to assess Jake whenever they gather at the fence. She stuck her big nose out through the wire to sniff at Jake. Jake, ever fearless in the face of cow, stuck his black, wet nose smack dab on the end of her furry nose. They both stood there sniffing in and out rather loudly. Jake gave her nose a little lick. She snorted but kept her nose pressed to his little one. Pleased with himself, Jake subjected the cow to a big lick. To my utter surprise, the cow licked him back with a big, pink gooey tongue. Jake immediately began having the zoomies and it was all I could do to keep the zoomies from connecting Jake with that barbed wire fence. Cow kisses are apparently very exciting because Jake wouldn't come down off his cow high for a good half hour. His new best friend is the cow pictured below:



And since we'll be missing Jake's fifth agility class due to an out-of-town obligation, hopefully Jake will dream of cows and not even notice he missed a class!

Fifth Agility Class Postponed Due to Rain

Talk about a disappointed dog! Jake was so sad he didn't have class that we just had to let him steal a few socks from the dirty clothes hamper to lift his spirits. It worked like a charm. ACD + dirty sock thievery = one happy dog!

Fourth Agility Class and Shredding Paper

Man, never get two days behind in updating a blog -- your fans start sending e-mails complaining about the wait! I don't mind -- it's nice to know that Jake has groupies. I knew Jake would be cranked for agility class when he wouldn't sit down in the car and kept in guard stance the whole trip (for any of you confused, check out previous posts regarding his usual car narcolepsy). Running laps around the yard doesn't help. Allowing Jake to run in fast circles on his leash only makes me want to vomit from dizziness. One of Jake's obedience class teachers stayed after her dog's agility class to watch Jake's progress. Jake has known her since he was ten weeks old and has never forgotten that she has the GOOD TREATS. He launched into a zoomie display of energy and got us in trouble with the teacher. I mentioned that we're supposed to keep control of our dogs at all times because of the risk of all parties present possibly getting hurt. Jake wasn't but a few inches from me but one of his German Shepherd buddies was watching and wanting to get involved in the zooming. Two new items were introduced to the class this week -- the wobble board (in preparation for the teeter totter) and the chute. The wobble board didn't intimidate Jake in slightest since he loves to climb any mountain of trash at a construction site. The chute didn't seem to frighten Jake either. He flew at top speed into the three-foot long hard chute opening. I did my best imitation of an Olympic sprinter to beat him to the other side. Jake didn't come out. I have no idea how he went from his all-out run to a dead stop in such a small space. All I could see was a black nose peeking out from the bottom of the sheet imitating a chute. Once that talented nose picked up the smell of cheese on the other side, Jake hurtled out of the chute and pounced on that lid of treats. Jake stayed totally wired for the entire class. My husband treated me to a pizza after class. Jake sat like a statue on the bench next to us on the restaurant's outdoor patio. Everyone commented on how well-behaved Jake is (the faker). As I crammed pizza in my face, all I could picture was my little stinker during class. Jake got a celebratory cup of ice for his good behavior during dinner.

We've all heard tales of the damage some dogs can do when they are frustrated or bored. Once again I am reminded of my dog's intelligence level. Jake is selective in what he shreds to share his feelings with his human parents. We're currently working in a guarded community. A half sheet of paper sits in on the dashboard showing we checked in at the construction entrance that day. Jake had to sit in the van while we met with the owner/builder of the new house. A half hour later I returned to the van to bring Jake inside. Jake was sitting in a pool of tiny, itsy-bitsy pieces of our community pass and looking rather proud of himself. My husband's van is his office -- laptop, tools, paperwork, and various fast food containers and cups. Good luck finding a seat for all the paperwork. Jake only tore up the pass. Of course we had to get a new pass after lunch but Jake has stolen the heart of the guards so it wasn't an issue. Always willing to share any toy, Jake nosed pieces of the pass over to me throughout the rush hour drive home.

And, yes, I will explain the picture. My dad remarried and I have two new siblings, a 2-year-old brother and a 2-month-old sister. Jake wants to kiss them and share his toys. In this picture Jake is so generous that he's sharing my dad's Border Collie Ian's favorite toy, an antique Caveman Goofy Doll that got stolen off a bottom shelf 7 years ago. It's hard to make Jake understand that the baby can't take the doll from him and play tug-of-war yet.

Third Agility Class -- Jake 10 Months Old

Picture this -- a large marlin flopping around on the end of a thin, taut fishing line and the fisherman pulling with all her might, both feet planted to keep the fisherman upright. Got it? Good, because that's what I look like attached to the other end of Jake's leash at his agility class. Jake gets so hyper that there is no way I can hold Jake and a camera at the same time. Jake LOVES class. Not only are there other dogs present but there are OBSTACLES! He has no fear and every obstacle is a fun game with a cheese treat at the end. Due to all of our dogs being so wound up over the class, there's a strict no-doggy-interaction rule to keep the dogs and their people from getting hurt around the equipment. Thankfully, I am not alone in having to sidetrack my determined dog. Jake doesn't know that he's a short dog. Jake doesn't know that there are rules. Jake doesn't know that he's so strong. Jake just wants to lick everyone, eat everyone's treats, and take everyone's turn on the obstacles. And miracles of miracles, the mosquitos didn't eat me alive this time! (P.S. The picture is of Jake sharing his ball with my baby brother.)

Jake's First Wedding Invitation (Now really 10 Months Old)

My husband and I were invited to a friend's wedding in Massachusetts and Jake was invited to come along! Not only were they prepared for the noisy, boisterous ways of the cattle dog but they were ready to spoil Jake rotten with a guest doggy bed of his very own. My friend has her own zoo on her farm, which includes 30 horses, 2 cows, random barn cats, a small donkey and, luckily for Jake, a female cattle dog named Zoe and a male Australian Shepherd named Harley. Poor Jake had been subjected to a 16-hour car ride up to New England but felt the ride was worth it once he met his new friends. Zoe, in typical alpha female cattle dog fashion, couldn't contain herself from barking and barking. Jake and Harley were pouncing around and wrestling in no time with Zoe darting in to take a few nips to keep her status as Queen Bee.



The following morning the donkey Poncho, fulfilling his role as farm rooster, began braying at the first crack of light. Jake went crazy, having not ever heard a donkey, much less that not-of-this-earth noise that prefaced the normal hee-haw. Not long after getting up we took Jake down to the donkey's pen to meet Poncho. Jake gave the donkey a lick on his nose in his usual fashion.




We explored the rest of the farm, meeting all the horses and checking out the brand new barn and covered riding ring. Jake went nose to nose with a few of the equine boarders and even made a foray into one of the corrals to take lots of zooming laps around one of the occupants. We were dying to introduce Jake to the Beltie cows and their furry ears. Jake licked a cow nose and then ran off into the field to roll in something disgusting. A hose bath took care of the offending odor in question. After all the animal introductions, Jake and Harley went back to wrestling in the front yard grass. Jake pounced on Harley and walked around on his back legs swatting at Harley like some tiny black and white speckled bear. Harley would nibble on Jake's chunky little legs, "corn-cobbing" them as we call it. Zoe would insert a bark here and there just for show.


Once inside the house Jake began to steal everyone's socks, as is his routine at home. The sock can be dirty or clean, makes no difference to Jake. His particular favorite was a striped sock of my friend's. Jake doesn't chew on socks. Rather, his joy is in the stealing and then the pleasure of having you notice the sock in his mouth. Charlotte, a teeny weeny house kitten, took great interest in whatever was hanging from Jake's mouth. Charlotte stood on her back legs with her little paws on each side of Jake's wide nose and would bite the vulnerable nose until Jake dropped his prize sock. She would steal the sock from him with her needle claws and then go streaking through the house with Jake chasing after her. Great games of hide and seek were established from day one. Jake couldn't have been happier to finally have a cat that would play with him. And, Charlotte, well, we know she's not scared of anything!



The sad day finally came when we had to pack Jake, his backpack of toys, and all of our luggage back in the rental car. The bride and groom had already left for their honeymoon and we spent an extra night at their house, keeping their animals company. Zoe and Harley watched quietly as we put everything in the car. Lots of kisses and wiggling came our way when we said goodbye. We slipped Jake into his seatbelt harness and into the back seat. He stretched up all tall as he could and still be seated to look sadly over the door at his new friends. We had a really depressed dog on the way home. It's so wonderful to see our puppy having a great time but it's so hard to take him away from it, too! Thank goodness, agility class is tomorrow night and will give Jake a little boost.